danisgirl_cof

Emo moment...

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 02:00:02 GMT

Okay, this is going to sound terribly emo of me for what I'm about to say...but here goes anyway.

I'm so sick of all this. Drama, pain, heartache, loneliness. For the fifth time in my life, I've had my heart shattered by some apathetic asshole who wouldn't know love it was his blood relative. All I want to do is sit here and cry a river, have a little pity party with me as the star. But, I know that won't help me get over any of this drama. My heart is growing so hard and cold towards the opposite sex, there's just no way out of it. No amount of sympathy or empathy from my friends is helping me. All I want to do is find the nearest tall building and throw myself off of it. I doubt they would care anyway. Probably just shrug it off and go back to their mother fucking video games like it never even happened. My chest is tight, and my heart has been broken so many times that I doubt it's even recognizable anymore. I wish I could say, "The hell with men," But I know I can't. I'm not that strong.

Whatever. I'm done.

No Headline, lol.

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 00:55:49 GMT

Just want to share some photos with the world, lol.

FUCK this Drama Bull Shit!

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 01:46:32 GMT

Seriously! I've about had enough of all this drama and all this hate that's been going around me and my friends! I don't want to hear about it anymore. If something happens to you, and it's something that will only add more depression to someone else, then DON'T fucking tell them about it. That's what a fucking therapist is for! I have anxiety problems enough as it is. I have a bottle of Xanax and a bottle of Zoloft because of all the problems that go on in my life. I don't need your shitty problems on top of mine.

Fuck you. Keep this drama bullshit away from me. Don't talk to me unless you intend to lift my spirits.

The-fucking-end.

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 00:23:19 GMT

You know, there comes a point in time where one will ask, "Why did I even bother in the first place?" I've been seeing Gary for a bit more than four months now, and I'm starting to wonder if it was even really worth it. A couple of weeks ago I had a fight with him, and ever since then, it's been like I barely even exist to him. He barely answers my texts, won't ever call anymore, and when I do get ahold of him, he's always busy. I'm starting to think I don't matter to him. He won't come see me since I don't have a working car at the moment, saying he doesn't have the gas. Even when I offer him the money for gas, he won't attempt to come over. I guess I just repulse him now. I dunno...My life really fucking sucks right now.

Drama Drama Drama...

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 00:56:21 GMT

So yeah, I finally told mom about my situation with the doc's and all...She fucking flipped about it. So, instead of heading back to the doc's on the 19th of November like I was supposed to, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to get screened for more shit. I swear, my mother needs to calm down. Though, I can't blame her for freaking out, really. I probably would if my baby was going through the same thing (if I had a baby, lol).

She was saying all this bad stuff about the situation and making me feel really bad about it. I texted my Gare-Bear about it, and he called me right away, despite the fact that he was at work, and calmed me down. He's such a sweetie =D. I dunno, something about talking to him, hearing his voice, it makes me mellow. But, I digress.

Oh! Get this shit! I was checking this man and his wife out at work, doing everything by the books and whatnot. I get to the end of his order and the total came up to be 97-something dollars. He handed me a $100 bill, I give him his change and close my till. He hands me another $100 dollar bill, asking for me to break it. By company policy, I'm not allowed to do this, just in case thieves decide to get cunning. I tell him that I'm not allowed to do that and inform him that customer service would do it for him. He proceeds to get an attitude about it, saying that I was being rude. He looked at my nametag, then my face, then walked away.

I'm so fucking tired of being written up for bullshit like that. I had a woman tell me that I had ruined her stuff after I had pushed it down the belt. Fuck that! I was just moving things so I can put more stuff up there. Fucking rich assholes who know they can get away with complaining about anything. People are so hooked on this 'Customer Service' thing, where the customer is always right. So they think they can get away with complaining to a lowly cashier's boss about how the cashier didn't get on his/her knees and suck their cocks. *sigh* I need a desk job.

Anyways, I'm done whining for tonight.

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 03:32:57 GMT

Warning! Fluff beyond this point... O.o;;

So, yeah. Haven't updated in a while, and since I'm not really writing any of my stories, I guess I can write on this thingie.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what to write, lol.

*looks over at the advertisement* Yeah, that's just what I wanted to see. Tom Cruise in his underwear...

It's been a long, long month insofar. I haven't gotten to see my Gare-Bear since like, the 2nd, and I got some awesomely awful news from the doctor not but a few days after my visit with Gary. Lord knows I was distraught. Gary seemed to take it well, though, lol. I was on the floor about to die when the woman told me. How is it that men can always take things so lightly? Of course, I cry when a hat drops, so...lol.

Although it is mine and Gare-Bear's four month mark, squee! I'm ashamed to admit this, but it's the longest real relationship I've had. >>; Is that bad? Though, I do intend on staying with him for much, much longer. What can I say? I fit perfect in his arms ^^; *watches everyone vomit* What? o.o

Sigh. What really sucks though is that since I haven't seen Gary since the 2nd, that also means I'm not getting 'any' right now. I've been smoking like a fiend to fill that sexual void. *giggles slightly* I'm bad, huh? Gary calls me his little nympho. I wonder why...

Well, I have an appointment on the 19th to see my doctor again. Hopefully everything will be okay then. I can get back on my normal routine and start writing my stories again. That would be nice, no?

Anyways, I'm going to like, go now.

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:34:06 GMT

Okay, I just have to rant for a little bit about what I have gotten myself into these past few days.

Unfortunately for my sister, her husband is constantly sick, and there is no way that he could ever make a long trip with her. Well, it just so happens that my grandparents had given them a lot of money recently so that my sister could have a surgery, and Samantha and Brad wanted to go up and visit them for a week, sort of a way to say thank you without actually paying them back (because, let's face it, who has money anymore?).

The majority of my family lives in North Carolina, and my grandparents, who so generously provided money for my sister in the time of need, live up in Wisconsin. Now, considering that no one has any money, Samantha and Brad decided it would be best to travel by car. It'd be cheaper and safer for them.

Well, the problem is that Brad's low health prevented him from being able to take this trip like they had intended to, so Samantha called up the only other person she knew that would be able to make the trip with her: me. And of course, me, not thinking, is like, "Oh yeah, let me get the time off from work and I'll go with you."

*sigh* You know, I've never been so bored in my life as when I finally (after two days of travel) got up here in Wisconsin. There is absolutely nothing to do up here. And like, as soon as I crossed the Wisconsin border line, my cell phone told me to fuck off, because there is absolutely no AT&T service out here. I was so pissed.

Fortunately for me, I brought my laptop, because my grandparents are as old as stone, and they are technologically illiterate, so they have no internet. BUT I managed to find Wi-Fi here. I don't know who it belongs to, but god bless them, they didn't have it secured and I can use it. It might just be a local thing, but still.

But, Sammie got homesick last night, and we decided that we're going to be leaving a day earlier than planned. On the inside, I was like, "Woopee!" so, yeah. I just want to get home and see my chica, Tawny, and see my beau.

Write me and send me love, because I need it badly. Please?

w00t!

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:06:29 GMT

I got my own laptop! Praise me. PRAISE ME!

Writer's Block: Reality TV Your Way

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 05:13:43 GMT

If you could make your own reality show, what would it be about and who would be on it?

Submitted By lauralieisfly

View 500 Answers

Haha, I don't care if people think this is a horrible idea or not, but I would totally make a musical reality television show. I don't care who would be on it, preferably people who could sing, but I digress. I would have it to where people would practice the night before, then let them go about their daily lives the next day. But, if they hear a certain sound, like an alarm of sorts, they all have to break out into the musical number they had practiced the previous night. *shrugs* Probably not a great idea, but I thought it would be epic. A lot better than these reality shows they have out now.

Writer's Block: The Eternal Nocturnal Struggle

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 01:29:41 GMT

Vampires or werewolves?

View 502 Answers

Hmmm... Vampires or Werewolves, you say?

The answer is simple for me: Vampires. You get to live for eternity. It would give you time to perfect any skill of which you desire. And if you keep an open mind, it won't be boring. There's always other skills to perfect if you think you're at your best with the one you were working on.

Plus, I effing hate the sun. Canerous fiend.

And, there's a certain beguiling quality to Vampires. The way the walk, talk, move in general. So sleek and wise...

Procrastination...

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 00:57:09 GMT

Work was hell. My feet hurt. I'm tired. I'm hungry. There isn't anything to eat in this house.

I hate the new guy at work. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him.

Don got promoted to Customer Service. Bastard. I wanted that job.

I wonder how many old people go through my line a day. There surely can't be that many old people living in one small area. Then again, I do work in Pinehurst, and there's so many rich old fucks that think they're so much better than anyone they have seniority over...Unfortunately, I'm only nineteen, so they think I'm some peon teenager that doesn't know her ass from her elbow.

Where in the world did that statement come from? I'm sure the first person who ever said that got strange looks. People would be like, "Why wouldn't they know their ass from their elbow?"

But I digress.

I only ate once today. It was one of those microwavable cups of Easy Mac noodles. It was the alfredo kind. You know, you'd think I'd be tired of alfredo, because I eat it like, all the time. Why don't I weigh 300 pounds? I always eat the wrong kind of stuff...

I want to go out and eat, but it's like, almost nine o'clock, and all the restaurants are closing soon.

I wonder what Tawny's up to...She's not online. She has pretty eyes. I want her eye color.

Still can't think of anything for my story...I think I wrote a grand total of three sentences last night, even though I sat at the computer for like, three hours trying to think of something. Yeah, my brain pretty much sucks.

There was this guy that went through my line today that only had like, a small basket of things to purchase, but his daughter came up with an assload of stuff for him to check out. I was like, "Bitch..." Then his friend came up and put something in his basket. I didn't get a chance to see it at first, but the guy saw it and flipped out, demanding that he pay for it himself. I finally got to see what he was so upset about, and I had to laugh. The guy put an enema in the basket. I was like, "Ha! You're constepated..."

Wow, I'm so immature when it comes to enemas. Constepation is a serious matter. It hurts.

I have to work tomorrow. Another eight hour shift at my General Minion job. But then I have three days off. Hooray for retarded weekly schedules!

I apparently got a raise this past April. I'm wondering when they were figuring on telling me about it. I found out for myself when I picked up one of my paychecks. I was like, "Hey, I'm suddenly making thirty cents more an hour. Yay!"

I wish I got payed more an hour. I also wish I had my own personal Dani Filth. That would be nice. I would make him clean my house while I watched. Yeah...That's what I'd do.

There's this line in a song that is making absolutely no sense to me. "Amidst the writhe of parapets where angels sigh, lonely she sits." Since when did walls writhe? Stupid metaphors...

Ooh! Espen just signed on! Espen's sexy. I wish he didn't have a girlfriend.

Oh well. I think I'm going to stop writing now. I can't think of anything else to ramble about.

--Miss Cinny--

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 05:51:49 GMT

God.

Don't you hate it when you get writer's block?

I've had it for like, weeks. I can't think of a damn thing to write for my story, "The Aftermath," and it's been so long since I've posted the last chapter. I doubt anyone is upset about it on Vam, but it bothers me when there's a long intermission between updates.

Psh.

I've been doing everything I can to get some inspiration, but nothing's working.

Well, that's not entirely true. I have a plethura of ideas for the later chapters. But I have to write the chapters in between first.

*headdesk*

Oh, fuck me running, this sucks so hard.

I think my brain is stuck in sleep mode. I don't even know how I'm writing this entry.

Oh well.

I'm hungry.

--Miss Cinny--

Vam Drawings

Sat, 17 May 2008 04:31:22 GMT

And, lastly...

Dani Comics (copyrighted)

Sat, 17 May 2008 04:29:02 GMT

Another comic-thing I do on my spare time...

The Adventures of Goth Girl and Emo Kid!!

Sat, 17 May 2008 04:07:46 GMT

My buddy, drunkonhim, and I were horribly bored about a year ago and invented these two comic-strip characters: Goth Girl and Emo Kid (copyrighted). I just thought that I'd share them with you all ^^.

The Aftermath Chps. 11-13

Wed, 14 May 2008 23:31:31 GMT

I understand that a lot of people reading this story is having some trouble with chapters 11-13. So, I decided I'll put them in my journal for convenience purposes.

Title: The Aftermath
Author: danisgirl_cof; assisted by drunkonhim
Summary: After the fall of man, those who are left must find a way to carry on
Disclaimer: I do not own any one mentioned. This is just my imagination, so please don't sue.

Chapter 11

The room was dim, hot, and overcrowded by security and scientists. Christus could hardly even move on the table they made him sit on. Many people were mumbling to each other silently, though Christus could hardly hear what they were saying, given everybody was talking at once. He looked around confused. He didn’t know why the scientists wanted him here so late at night. It wasn’t like he hadn’t taken his drugs, or failed to make it to another one of their rigorous tests.

“Breeder,” one of the scientists that stood close to him spoke up, “I have a few questions I’d like to ask.” Christus looked at the man, waiting for the interrogation to begin. “What ensued on the night of your escape attempt?”

“I was about to go to sleep for the night, and then Jonne and Ville came into my room. They said that they had snatched a key off of one of the guards here, and that they were leaving that night. Jonne said he wanted me to come with him,” Christus explained.

The scientist nodded as he scribbled on a notepad. “And why did he want you to come with him?” he asked.

Christus swallowed hard, then shrugged. “He and I were friends,” he said simply. He watched the man nod again as he dragged his pen across the yellow paper.

“How good of friends were you?” he pushed. Christus furrowed his brow at the man.

“What does that have anything to do with the night I tried to escape?”

The scientist looked up from his notepad, over his glasses at him. Christus suddenly felt a stinging pain in his right cheek as a security guard smacked him with the back of his hand. Christus grabbed his cheek, staring down at the floor.

“I am asking the questions here. I advise you answer them,” the scientist stated. Christus simply nodded, feeling tears well up in his eyes. “Now, I ask you again,” the man said, looking back down at his pad, “How good of friends were you and Jonne?”

“W-We were close friends,” Christus said, still staring at the floor. “He was like my little brother.”

He got another strike on the cheek.

“Do stop lying,” the scientist said with a gentle voice. “We’ve been watching a lot of the old surveillance since you tried to get away. We saw what the two of you were doing behind our backs.”

“Then why are you asking me about it?” Christus sobbed.

“We’re testing your faith to us,” the scientist said with a shrug. “But, it’s obvious how your mind works. We’ll have that sorted out, soon enough.”

People began leaving the room, walking out the door single-file, soon leaving Christus alone with the scientist and the brutal security guard. He leaned back as far as he could away from the two, pulling his legs up to his chest, imitating the fetal position.

“W-What are you going to do to me?” he asked in a trembling voice.

“We’re not going to do anything to you,” the scientist reassured. Christus held his position, shifting his eyes between the two men untrustingly.

The door opened, and a tall, strong man walked in. He had dark, shoulder-length hair, masculine features, and dark eyes. He wore the dark scrubs that were handed out to the people that resided on the other side of the Project Building. Christus’s heart began to pound against the wall of his chest as he realized what the man was there for.

“No, no! Please, no!” Christus began to beg, grabbing the scientist’s wrist. “Please, don’t make me do this! I don’t want to!”

The scientist jerked his arm back, reclaiming his abducted wrist. “You’re long overdue for this. This one is named Andreas. He was supposed to be for the breeder named Ville. But, since he’s run off to only God knows where, we’re assigning him to you.” The security guard pulled out a pair of cuffs, putting one on Christus’s hand and the other on the leg of the table, ensure that he wouldn’t be able to get away. “I was hoping that this could happen under better circumstances, but…c’est la vie,” the scientist said with a simple, carefree shrug. He began flipping through his notepad as he made his way out of the room. The security guard followed him, standing just outside the door to make sure everything went according to plan.

Christus turned his wide-eyed gaze to the man who was making his way across the room. Christus tugged on the cuffs, hoping that maybe they were faulty and would come loose. Unfortunately, they held tight. He looked back up at the man, who was now standing but a step away from him. Christus let a tear fall down his cheek as those dark, emotionless eyes stared back at him. He began removing his clothing, starting with his shirt. As garments were removed, it exposed a strong, well-trained body. Definitely not some one Christus could fight off, especially with one arm.

The man shoved him down on the table, pulling himself up over him. Christus closed his eyes as the man’s strong hands began removing only the necessary garments.

The sound of Christus’s displeasured screams could be heard thoroughly throughout the entire Project Building, though most people that resided there ignored it, as they were used to hearing the sound.

Outside the room, the scientist adjusted his glasses, letting out a sigh. “I’m very sure that this boy won’t be giving us any more information. When everything is over, cut out his tongue and throw him back in his room,” he demanded to the security guard. The guard nodded in reply, and the scientist walked down the hall to his office. He sat in his chair, leaning back in it and putting his feet up on the desk. “All in a day’s work,” he said to himself before dozing off.

Christus lie in his bed, curled in a fetal position, whimpering softly to himself. What a cruel fate he had. Not only was he forced to be with a man that he never even met, let alone love, but now he was without speech for the rest of his life. Blood still dribbled from the corner of his mouth as he lay on his side, but he could care less. That was the least of his worries.

Despite his tragic state, he still worried about Jonne. He knew what they really wanted him to tell them back in that dreadful room. They wanted him to maybe leak some information about the whereabouts of Ville and Jonne. Even if he did know, there was no way in hell that he would tell those horrible men. There was no way that he was going to put his love through the same torment he was experiencing. Christus was sure Jonne would break if he was put through the same things as he. The little boy’s body couldn’t take it, and he wasn’t sure if his mind could cope with it either.

He just hoped that Jonne would be happy where he was now, if he was still alive, and prayed to God that their paths would never cross again.

Jonne walked into the front room, where Ville, Dani, and Bam were sitting, having a light conversation with one another. Jonne went up to Ville, sitting next to him on the sofa and cuddling close to him. He wanted to be with his best friend at that moment. He was feeling upset, but he didn’t know what it was about. It could have been Dani’s snide remarks. Jonne looked up at him, finding him staring back at him. Jonne shot him a glare before nuzzling into Ville’s chest.

“What’s the matter, Jonne? You seem worried about something,” Ville said gently, wrapping an arm around him and holding him close. Jonne shrugged.

“I don’t know. I just got this strange feeling all of the sudden,” he said, shaking off the trembles that were making their way down his spine. Ville gave him a reassuring squeeze.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s probably nothing,” he said, smiling down to his friend. Jonne smiled lightly, resting his temple on Ville’s chest, feeling safe there with him

Chapter 12

Two scientists sat in swivel chairs, leaning back with their feet on the table. By their feet, covered by large, shiny black shoes, was a small television, displaying a young boy, curled up on his bed and rocking back and forth gently. One scientist leaned back further in his chair, reaching his arms up into the air in a stretch, and letting out a big yawn.

“How long has he been like that?” the dark-haired scientist asked to his light-haired companion.

“Since Andreas has been visiting him nightly,” the light-haired scientist answered.

“How many more times do you think we need to send Andreas to his room?” the first asked.

“We’ll try it a few more times and do a test. If he’s not pregnant by then, we’ll put him in isolation until we can find another use for him.”

They sat there, watching the boy sit silently on his bed for a few more minutes. After a while, the door opened and Andreas walked in. The two scientists watched for a few minutes to ensure that everything went according to plan, then turned sound on the monitor off before they had to listen to those annoying screams again.

“Let’s hope this goes according to plan,” the dark-haired one stated. “After all, Andreas was supposed to be compatible with the breeder named Ville. His stamina is not at it’s full capacity with Christus.”

The light-haired scientist nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yes, and given Andreas’s present state, then Ville is probably going to go through heat sometime soon. After all, we did alter them to go through this around the same time.”

They both watched the screen for a moment longer, watching Andreas push one final, rough thrust inside Christus. The light-haired scientist looked at his watch, then shrugged.

“He made it a little longer this time. Could have been better, though. We need to get it longer, if we want to ensure a higher chance at pregnancy.”

They watched Andreas dress himself, then leave Christus laying on the bed with his white scrubs around his ankles, crying to himself. The dark-haired scientist let out a sigh.

“I guess we’ll get him tested next week. That should be enough time to know if he’s pregnant or not.”

They both nodded, then got up from their chairs, turning the monitor off before leaving the room.

Ville’s eyes opened slowly. It was still dark in the room, save for the sliver of moonlight that came in through the broken window. It was terribly hot in the room. Ville pushed the old blanket off of his body, and gently removed Jonne’s arm from around his waist. He wiped at the beads of sweat that collected on his forehead. Ville couldn’t believe the heat that was in this room. It was never this hot before. He sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, fanning himself in hopes that it would help.

His chest started to tighten, making it hard for him to breathe. He took in slow, deep breaths, trying to keep himself from panicking. He couldn’t understand what was happening to him.

He got up out of bed, walking down the hall and into the kitchen, finding a bowl of fresh water. He dipped his hand into the bowl, bringing the water to his lips. The fluid felt cool against his lips, so he took it into his mouth and swallowed graciously. He dipped his hand into the water again and ran it through his hair and on the back of his neck.

Despite how nice it felt against Ville’s burning skin, it wasn’t enough to cool him off. He took several more gracious swallows before he took the whole bowl and tipped it over his head. It ran down his face and down onto his neck and chest, soaking his shirt.

Lord, why was it so damn hot in this house? Ville had to get out. He needed to cool off before he couldn’t handle it.

He remembered the creek that he and Bam had gone to the other day to catch fish. He recalled how cold the water was when he waded in knee-deep. That would definitely be enough to cool him off.

Ville raced through the house and out the door, running in the direction of the creek.

Bam stumbled out of Dani’s room, rubbing the back of his eyes and yawning. There was a sound in the kitchen that had woke him, so he decided to find out what it was. He walked through the front room and to the door of the kitchen, where he found Ville using up the rest of their fresh water. Great. He was sure that he would have to go back to the creek tomorrow morning to fetch more. Thanks a lot, Ville.

He watched Ville slam the bowl back on the table, taking in several slow, deep breaths. Bam wondered what was up with Ville. He wondered if he should offer some help to him.

Before Bam could speak up, Ville raced out of the kitchen and past him, not even seeming to notice him. He watched the tall boy run out of the house, slamming the door behind him. He didn’t even bother to grab a jacket. Bam was sure he would have to go after him and bring him back in before something happened.

Dani walked out of the bedroom, blinking against the firelight coming from the kitchen. “What the fuck is going on in here?” he asked tiredly, his voice cracked from sleep.

“Ville just ran out. I’ll get him back inside though, don’t worry. Just go back to sleep,” Bam said. With that, he walked up to the front door, grabbing his jacket before leaving.

Ville raced towards the sound of running water. Thank God he managed to find it. He began tearing his clothes off of his body. Getting the freedom from his garments was starting to relax him slightly, but it wasn’t enough. He found his way to the creek. He pulled his pants off of his long legs and waded into the water, getting knee-deep and sitting down in it.

Oh, how wonderful the cold water felt on his skin. Ville took in a deep breath and submerged his head into the water. He loved the feeling of the cold on his naked body. But, for some reason, it wasn’t satisfying him. He pulled himself up out of the water, releasing his breath and filling his lungs with fresh air. It was becoming more difficult to breath, he discovered as he continued gasping. What the hell was going on?

“Ville,” he heard a voice coming from the brush by the creek. He looked in the direction of the voice and found a figure coming through the shrubbery. His body heat suddenly intensified at the figure’s presence. As it approached, Ville could see that it was Bam.

“Ville, what are you doing in there? You need to get back in the house. What if something happens to you out here?” Bam stared down at Ville, his face twisting into a confused face. “Why in the world are you naked?”

“G-Get away from me,” Ville managed to say between strained breaths.

“What? No,” Bam said. “I’m not leaving until you get out of that creek and come with me.”

Ville pulled his legs up to his chest, his knees making small islands in the water. He wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on his knees. He wasn’t about to go anywhere until he felt better.

“Damn it, Ville. I’ll drag you out of there if I have to,” Bam stated angrily. Ville still refused to move. “Fine, have it your way.”

Bam rolled his pants up to his knees and walked into the water. It sloshed around his legs, making loud noises as he moved. The sound was practically deafening to Ville. He watched Bam approach him through the water. The closer he got, the tighter his stomach grew, as if he were getting excited about Bam’s presence. Ville was sure he didn’t want him near him. He didn’t know what was going on with him, but Bam being around him was definitely not helping.

Bam leaned in and put his hand on Ville’s shoulder. Ville jerked back at the unusual sensation he felt at the contact. His stomach grew tighter, and shivers crawled down his spine. That was it. Ville couldn’t handle Bam being in his personal space anymore. He jumped up.

“What’s wrong, Ville?” Bam asked, worry covering his face.

“I-I don’t know. Just…stay away,” Ville said, holding his hands up to guard himself. He walked around Bam, slowly making his way to the bank of the creek. Bam watched him as he made his way around, unsure of what to do. Ville sat on the sandy bank, holding his legs up to his chest again, telling himself over and over again quietly that everything was going to be okay.

Bam waded through the water back up to where Ville was, sitting next to him, but keeping a space between them. He watched him curiously for a moment. Ville could practically feel those blue eyes on him. He didn’t know if he wanted to push the gaze off of him, or to throw himself on the boy. God, he hoped the latter didn’t happen.

“I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine,” Ville said, running a hand through his water-and-sweat soaked hair.

“Hey,” Bam said, reaching up and touching him on the arm once again. Ville grabbed Bam’s hand, pushing him on the ground and kneeled over him.

“I said to stay away,” he warned in a breathy tone.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to know if you were okay,” Bam said, still looking worried. Ville held the two of them in that position for a long time. He just stared into those increasingly attractive eyes. Bam blinked up at him.

“What’s the matter, Ville?” he asked in a gentle tone. That was it. The sound of Bam’s soft voice finally set him off. He leaned in and pressed a bruising kiss on Bam’s lips, running his long fingers through that dark, curly hair, clasping it tightly and pressing his lips even harder against his.

Bam put his hands against Ville’s chest and managed to push him just far enough to get a gasp of breath.

“W-What the hell was that?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Ville panted. “Please, just kiss me,” he begged.

“Ville, just tell me what’s going on,” Bam demanded.

“I don’t kn-know what’s wrong w-with me,” Ville admitted shakily. “I just have this…overwhelming sensation that I can’t explain.” He leaned in, releasing his hot breath on Bam’s neck, panting in attempt to keep up with his racing heart. “All I know is that when you touch me, it calms my jittery nerves,” he stated into Bam’s tanned skin. “So please,” he said, raising his head and looking into Bam’s eyes once again. “Please just kiss me.”

Bam stared up at him for a moment, confusion behind his eyes. Ville stared back, silently begging to be calmed by a simple kiss. Finally, he just reached up, placing his hands on Ville’s cheeks, pulling him close, placing his soft lips against Ville’s. He parted his lips and slid his tongue inside Ville’s mouth. The velvety feel of his tongue sent a warmth through Ville’s body, and it centered in his loins. Their tongues touched gently, then swirled around each other in a dance for dominance.

Bam pulled back slightly, pressing small, gentle kisses on Ville’s cheek and jaw, soon leading down to his neck. His tongue trailed down his slender neck, and into the hollow base. His teeth bit his flesh playfully, making Ville moan out into the night like young female cat in heat. Ville could feel his cock engorge with intrigue. He pressed his hips against Bam’s, making a point to show him how aroused he made him.

Bam suddenly grabbed Ville’s shoulders, pushing him back. Ville let out a groan in protest, leaning in for more.

“No, Ville,” Bam stated, holding his hand between both of their faces to keep Ville from pushing it any further. “We can’t do this. At least, not here, and not now. It’s not the right circumstances,” he said. Ville’s big green eyes searched Bam’s face as he processed the information. He didn’t want to stop, though he felt a lot better now that he had had some contact with him. Finally, he nodded and sat up, getting off of Bam. Bam got up, walking to the creek bank and grabbing Ville’s pants.

“Come on,” he said, holding the garment to him, “Let’s get back to the house.”

Chapter 13

Ville woke up to find the morning sun peeking over the sill of the window. His little blonde friend was sleeping on his side, facing away from him, the covers over his shoulders and no doubt tucked under his chin. Ville himself had managed to sleep without the assistance of that old blanket, given his curious state. He was hot enough as it was, and he didn’t need anything else practically suffocating him at night.

He pulled himself out of bed, and his unbuttoned pants began to slip down his slender hips. He managed to catch them and pull them back up, buttoning them when they were positioned properly back around his waist. He let out a sigh and ran a hand through his sweaty hair. Lord, he didn’t feel any better this morning than he did last night. He wished he knew what was going on with him, so he could fix it.

Ville walked out of the room and into the front room to find April sitting on the old sofa, sewing a small, tattered garment back into use.

“W-Where is everyone?” Ville asked to her.

April looked over her shoulder at the half-dressed boy standing in the living room. “Bam went down to the stream to fetch some water for me, and just about every one else is asleep,” she replied, turning her attention back to the shirt in her hands. Ville watched her work then needle through the worn fabric several times, in and out. She held up the clothing and admired her progress.

“When will Bam get back?” Ville asked, his breath becoming short.

“He should be back within the hour,” April answered. “He left a few minutes before you came out here.”

Damn. Ville had missed him. After last night’s escapades, Ville was sure Bam could help him calm down a bit. But he didn’t think he could wait an hour for the boy to come back. He rubbed the back of his hand across his forehead, letting out a discontented grunt walking across the living room to the door that stood in the opposite corner.

“Dani’s still asleep,” April informed Ville, not even turning from her work.

“I-I know,” Ville stated before opening the door, inviting himself in. He closed the door behind him carefully and quietly, immediately spotting a sleeping man in the bed. He was sleeping on his side, facing the wall, cradling a pillow close to his chest. Ville tilted his head to the side, noticing that Dani was actually quite attractive when he was sleeping.

He treaded softly across the small room next to the bed. He leaned in, putting his hands delicately on the mattress, slowly putting his weight on it, hoping not to wake Dani by shifting him. Dani didn’t seem to be affected by Ville’s movements, so he put his knee up onto the mattress and pulled himself up, laying down next to the dark-haired man. He reached up, gently touching Dani’s bare arm with his warm finger-tips. The contact he made caused his stomach to tighten, much like how Bam made him feel the night before.

Ville began trailing his fingers down Dani’s strong arm, then his bare waist. Dani reflexively twitched in his sleep at being touched on his side, causing Ville to jerk his hand back cautiously. He watched the man’s face for a moment, seeing if he had awoken him or not. Dani’s eyes were still closed, and seeming to still be dreaming.

Gently, he reached back down to where his hand had left, furthering their journey to the waist-band of Dani’s pants. He could feel his heart begin to pound against the wall of his chest at the thought of what was but a few inches away from his hand. Ville could feel himself begin to swell with interest between his legs.

He pushed his fingers under the material gently, leaning in and placing a tiny kiss on Dani’s shoulder. He watched Dani smile lightly in his sleep, nuzzling into the pillow cuddled to his chest, and muttering something incoherent to Ville’s ears. His fingers trailed a bit further into his pants, finding what he wanted. He wrapped his hand around the soft shaft, playing with it with his fingertips until he could feel it start to engorge. Ville grinned slightly to himself, happy that he could arouse the man, despite the fact that he was still sleeping.

Soon, Dani was fully erect and ready for Ville. He pulled his hand out of the pants and began work on the button, popping it loose and slowly undoing the zipper. He released Dani’s throbbing cock from his tight confines, admiring it’s size. Oh yes. This would do nicely.

“Jonne,” he heard Dani groan into his pillow. Ville glanced up at him, who still had a small grin on his lips as he dozed. Ville turned his attention back to the quivering member in his hand. He gave it a few gentle strokes, rubbing the tip of it with his index simultaneously. Dani let out another moan, then rolled onto his back. His eyes slowly opened, and he grabbed Ville’s hair, pulling him close to his face. He blinked a few times, his eyes beginning to focus on what was in front of him. Ville swallowed hard, knowing he was in a terrible bind now.

“Oh my God,” Dani said, staring up at Ville. There was a look of horror mixed with disgust in his eyes. “You’re not Jonne,” he pointed out. His eyes shifted down to his cock, discovering Ville’s hand wrapped around it intimately.

“Get off of me, you fucking tart!“ he shouted as he pushed Ville off of him. He sat up, pushing his erection back into his pants, wincing as he tried to adjust himself and button his pants back. When he was done, he glared back up at Ville.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he said, keeping his voice at an appropriate level to not wake anyone. Ville pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. His body was still uncomfortable with strange sensations he didn’t understand.

“I don’t know,” Ville admitted, looking down in his lap to avoid eye-contact with an angry Dani. “I’ve been having this strange feeling lately, and the only thing calming it is something like this,” he explained.

Dani was silent for a moment, then he let out a laugh. “You’re horny,” he stated. Ville looked up at him with a strange look. “It means you want to have sex. But don’t look at me for it. I’d just as soon fuck April,” Dani stated, still laughing. Ville got up from the bed, running a hand through his hair. He turned to Dani, who was laying back down in the bed to catch a few more minutes of sleep before he was told to do something.

“Could you not tell Bam about this?” he asked. Dani looked at him from the corner of his eye. He shifted in the bed, trying to make himself comfortable again in the bed.

“There’s nothing to tell him,” Dani said. “Now get out of my room before I change my mind.”

Ville sighed in relief, then left the room.

Bam kneeled close to the running water, dragging a bucket through it. He hated fetching water. The shit was so heavy, and the trip always took so long on the way back. Plus, the hot sun on his back and neck wasn’t going to help much, either. He sighed, placing the full bucket to the side and grabbing the other, filling it with water.

He stood up, pausing to stare into the creek, remember what had ensued the night before. He never thought that Ville would even consider doing something like that. He always seemed so refined and to himself. Like he didn’t need anyone to help him when he wasn’t feeling his best. Of course, Bam wouldn’t say Ville was sick last night, but he could tell that there was definitely something wrong with him.

It always seemed like Ville didn’t even look at him like that before. He seemed like he didn’t even really notice Bam, like he was just another person in the house he happened to be in. All of his attention seemed to be focused on that little blonde friend of his, Jonne. Bam could sometimes feel himself growing jealous of the boy, wishing he would get the same attention from Ville as he always got.

But last night completely blew Bam’s mind. It just seemed like Ville desperately needed Bam to make love to him, right there on the sandy bank of the creek. Oh, how badly Bam wanted to do everything he fantasized doing to that boy right then and there - but the little voice in the back of his head told him to slow down and not take advantage of the situation. He wanted to tell the voice to shut up and to leave him alone, but he knew it was right. He might have gone through with it last night, then Ville would have absolutely no respect for him, telling everyone else that he had been molested - or worse - simply never talked to him again after getting what he desired. Both options were terrible in Bam’s mind, and he didn’t want that to happen. No. He wanted the moment to be perfect when and if he made love to that gorgeous boy.

Ville surely had no idea what that kiss had meant to Bam. It was, after all, his first. He wasn’t really ever exposed to a Normal female, nor was he ever attracted to the fourteen-year-old that lived in his house.

Bam recalled how Ville’s lips had felt against his; so soft and plump. Gentle, yet demanding. His taste was incredible, something Bam savored that entire night. When their tongues had touched, he tasted sweet, yet spicy - like how cinnamon tastes. Sweet at first, but can set a fire in your mouth if you’re not careful with it.

He felt slightly ashamed of himself when he realized he had grown aroused. He didn’t want Ville to get scared, thinking he might try to do things to him that he might not have been up for. He was also upset with how quickly his cock had sprung to life, simply at the touch of Ville’s lips. But, he had felt a lot better when Ville pushed his erection against his hips in a tantalizing manner. He knew then that Ville was willing and ready for just about everything Bam was thinking of doing to him in that instant.

Bam blinked out of his daydream, turning back to his task. He knelt down, lifting the heavy buckets and making his way back to the house.

Who knew? Maybe Ville would still be up for it. Hopefully it won’t be awkward when the run into each other again. Bam hated awkward silences. He never knew what to say to make things better. Then he would get those strange stares as tried desperately to make the situation better. Lord, he hated those moments.

Bam started his way back up the hill towards the house, hoping to God nothing like that would happen.

Ville sit in one of the chairs in the living room, trying to fight off all the sensations he was feeling. He slouched in the chair, resting his back on the seat. Well, that didn’t help. He glanced over and saw Jonne staring at him with a strange look on his face. He sat back up in the chair.

“Ville, what is wrong with you this morning?” Jonne asked.

“Nothing,” Ville lied, rubbing the back of his neck and looking around at anything but his friend. In his present state, even Jonne was starting to look attractive to him. God forbid that Ville would ever do anything like that to his best friend.

It was quiet in the room once again. Ville couldn’t stand being still for too long. He started tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair and tapping the heel of his foot on the floor. It was enough movement to keep him from jumping out of his skin for now.

The door suddenly swung open, and Bam stumbled in with two large buckets full of water in both hands. Ville stopped fidgeting long enough to gaze upon the sight. His shaggy hair had fallen into his beautiful blue eyes, giving him a slight brood look. Sweat had beaded on his skin, obviously from the heat of the sun beating down on him for so long. His biceps were flexed, and looked magnificently strong. The sweat on his arms was reflected by the light that was in the house, accenting each glorious muscle.

Ville pulled his bottom lip between his teeth at the sight. It took everything in his power to keep from achieving an erection in front of everyone.

“Oh Bam, you’re a terrible mess. Go wash up when you’re done,” April demanded. Bam glared at her.

“I’d like to see you dragging this shit all the way up hill,” he growled sexily. He set the buckets of water down in the kitchen, then headed down the hall for the bathroom to follow his mother’s wishes.

Ville stood up, brushing himself off nonchalantly before making his way to the hallway.

“Where are you going?” Jonne asked from behind.

“I’m just going to stay in my room for a while,” Ville replied. “I’d like to be alone, if you don’t mind.”

With that, he walked down the hall, standing between his room and the washroom right across from it. He looked into the washroom and found Bam kneeling by the tub. His shirt had already been discarded, revealing his strong, tanned back. Ville’s eyes trailed from top to bottom of the sight, stopping at the dimples just above the waist-line of his pants.

He watched as Bam cleaned himself, longing to be those beads of water that clung and trailed down his skin. Bam ran the water through his hair. Ville caught a glimpse of his profile. There was something about Bam’s damp hair that gave his gorgeous looks something extra.

Ville pulled his plump bottom lip between his teeth again, trying his best to steady his breathing in order not to be heard.

Bam got up and grabbed a towel, rubbing it through his hair and over his torso before throwing it over his shoulder and turning to leave the bathroom. He stopped in his tracks when he found Ville standing there in the hallway, watching him intently.

“W-What’s up, Ville?” he asked, staring at Ville as if unsure what to think of the situation. Ville didn’t say anything. He just kept staring at the sight, giving Bam the up-and-down.

“Can I help you?” Bam asked.

Ville finally just walked up to Bam, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him through the open doorway of the room he and Jonne were staying in. He closed the door and pushed Bam against it, putting his hands on his cheeks and placing a hard kiss on his lips.

Bam put his hands on Ville’s shoulders and pushed him back, taking in a gasp of breath. He stared into Ville’s eyes, his face covered in confusion.

“What is with you?” he asked.

“Please, Bam,” Ville begged, leaning in just a breath from Bam’s lips. “I can’t take this feeling anymore. I want this so badly.”

He placed another kiss on his lips, gently this time. They parted lips, and Ville slowly slid his tongue out, taking a taste of the boy. His hands slid from Bam’s cheeks down his neck and to his shoulders, clawing slightly on his tanned flesh. He nipped playfully on his bottom lip, pulling back and releasing it.

“What do you want?” Bam asked breathlessly against Ville’s mouth, his hot breath against him almost intoxicating. Ville leaned in close to Bam’s ear, his lips brushing against his earlobe purposefully.

“You,” he whispered simply into Bam’s ear. He pressed his sex into Bam’s hips, making him feel how ready he really was for him.

Bam released a small groan at the feeling of that fully erected cock against his own growing arousal. He began guiding the two of them to the unmade bed that was but a few steps behind Ville. He pushed Ville onto the bed gently, and he quickly pulled himself over Ville, his legs on either side of him. Ville looked up at him, running his hands down his chest, feeling the strong muscles of his stomach under his fingertips. He loved how Bam’s muscles tightened from his delicate touch.

Bam leaned in, placing several small kisses on Ville’s neck, trailing down to his collarbone. He nipped lightly at the flesh at the hollow of his neck. His hands trailed down Ville’s abdomen, finding the tail of his shirt. He pushed his hands beneath the shirt, his cool hands feeling so refreshing on Ville’s burning skin. He moved his hands upward, pushing the shirt up enough to expose porcelain skin and nipples. Bam pulled back slightly to get a good look at the sight. A moan escaped from the back of his throat, obviously pleased with what was before him.

He leaned in, peppering small kisses down the middle of Ville’s chest, then making his way to a nipple. He wrapped his lips around it, suckling lightly. Ville could feel his tongue flick out occasionally, playing with the erected nipple. He let out a small whimper every time he felt a small nip.

Bam pulled Ville’s shirt up over his head and tossed it to the side. His fingers followed the groove in the middle of Ville’s abdomen, over his navel, and down to the top of his pants. Ville bit back a loud groan at the tingly sensations that shot through his body at the contact. Bam began quick work at the pants button, until it came undone, then began pulling the pants down slowly. He first revealed Ville’s large, aching cock, which quivered with anticipation, and soon he exposed all of those long, creamy-white legs.

Bam reached between his legs, grabbing the exposed cock in his hand. He began to stroke it gently, watching Ville’s reaction as he did so. Ville leaned his head back in pleasure. He had never been touched like by another before, and it was sensational. He let out a contented sigh, then looked back down at Bam to watch his work.

He leaned in, flicking his tongue out to take a taste of the head, the wrapped his lips around it. Oh, how glorious it felt! Ville had to clench his jaw to keep from making too much noise. He hissed between his teeth as he felt a tingling in his loins.

“Bam, I’m likely to explode if you keep this up,” he whispered down to the blue-eyed beauty. His words didn’t stop Bam. He kept at his exceptional work on his arousal, until Ville couldn’t handle it anymore. He bucked into Bam’s hand and mouth, releasing his seed in his mouth. Bam leaned back, wiping his mouth and smiling up to Ville.

He leaned in, placing a small kiss on Ville’s lips. One hand began working at his own pants, getting them loose enough to remove. Soon, he had them pushed off of his own legs and onto the floor by the bed. Ville took his free hand and put two of his fingers in his mouth, sucking on them enough to get them lubricated. He guided his hand down between his legs, pressing his fingertips against his untainted entrance.

Bam understood, and began playing with his hole, pushing one finger in slowly. In and out that finger moved, getting Ville used to the feel. Then he gently pushed in the second finger. Ville sucked in a breath between his teeth. He moved the two fingers in and out for a few minutes, then finally pulled them out. He positioned his weeping cock at Ville’s prepared entrance. He paused, looking up at Ville.

“I’m ready,” Ville whispered to him. Bam pushed his throbbing arousal slowly into Ville, careful not to hurt him too badly. Ville bit his knuckle and squeezed his eyes shut from the pain, but soon relaxed once Bam was completely inside him.

“Are you okay?” Bam asked, stroking Ville’s cheek with his knuckles in a soothing manner. Ville nodded in reply. Bam slowly pulled out, then pushed back in gently. He repeated this several times, each time growing faster with his thrusts. He leaned in, burying himself deeper inside Ville and managing to find Ville’s spot.

Ville couldn’t help the little moan that escaped his lips when Bam hit his prostate. Bam pressed his lips against Ville’s neck, placing kisses there as he continued thrusting inside him. All the sensations were overwhelming Ville.

“God, you feel so good,” Bam whispered into his pale skin. Ville reached up and ran his hands through Bam’s hair with a small smile.

“I’m glad I can please you,” he said between pants.

Bam pushed a few more rough thrusts inside Ville before spilling his seed inside him. He collapsed on top of Ville, breathing heavily.

Ville sighed in content, rubbing Bam’s sweaty back gently with his fingertips. He let out a small chuckle.

“Looks like you need to clean yourself up again,” he commented.

Bam leaned back to look at Ville. “Silence, you,” he said with a grin, placing a passionate kiss on his lips to silence him.
=========================================================================================================================
Sorry for the inconvenience to anyone who was reading and couldn't get their hands on these chapters.

--Miss Cinny--

Buh...

Sun, 11 May 2008 04:08:02 GMT

Laylah is so tired...And for some reason she's talking about herself in the third-person.

I had a really shitty day at work, and I feel like talking to bring my mood up a bit...

A few days ago, I went to one of the best performances EVER. Like whoa. I must say, Apocalyptica really knows how to stir up a crowd ^^. And Eicca is just so damn pretty. Eventually I'm going to get some pictures up of the concert...when I can find that damned cord to the camera >.O; All the boys were so nice, and gave everyone special attention when it came down to autographs and pictures. Eicca came up to me and my posse first. I was elated. I somehow managed to get Eicca to hold our traveling gnome, named Wank, in the picture I took with him. I'm still laughing at that XD. Perttu took a picture with me and stuck his tongue out towards me, resulting in him licking my cheek. I will never wash that cheek again o.O; jk, but still. Paavo wouldn't take a picture with me until he could hug me XD, and Miko was just the sweetest guy. Antero was a douche, though. He just walked past the crowd of people and got in the cab and waited until the others were ready to go, completely ignoring the fans. Asshole >>;.

But, nothing will compare to when I met Cradle of Filth. Though, Apocalyptica is a close second, for sure.

Anyways...Laylah is done talking for now.

--Miss Cinny--

Huzzah!

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 02:12:27 GMT

I have a new lj layout. You guys should totally look at it. Because it is fucking awesome o.o;

Seriously.

Yay, St. Patty's Day is Over!

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:06:59 GMT

...So, yeah. I basically got shit-faced with Sarah, Colin, Bliss, and a few other people last night. It was a lot of fun. We all had several different kind of drinks that Bliss mixed for us, which quickly got me into my drunken state e.e; The only sad thing was when one of our friends got really sick off of the drinks and went to throw up for the rest of the damn night/morning. But, meh. All in all, it was a fun night, playing drinking games and staying up until 6 in the morning.

Just thought I'd share that with you guys... ^^

-Miss Cinny-

Vam Poem!!

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 05:47:43 GMT

Title: Dying Inside...
Author: danisgirl_cof
Summary: He can't have what he wants most...
Disclaimer: I do not own any one mentioned. This is just my imagination, so please don't sue.
A/N: I know I should probably be focusing on my other two stories, but I've been wanting to do a Vam poem for a while now. ^^

A simple glance to one side,
His mind filled with thoughts that he could only hide.
He always did what he must,
To hide those thoughts of selfish lust.

Pensive moments, oh so serene,
Could only possibly be a simple dream.
If only he could look into those sapphire eyes,
And not think of their friendship as a façade and lies.

There was a moment, oh so dear,
That they expressed their feelings without fear.
They touched, and they kissed,
Precious moments that he missed.

But now, alas,
It is nothing but the past.
He wanted so badly for it to happen again,
But just didn’t know when.

His friend now had his own life.
He had a career, and a wife.
What cruel fate was this,
With all the chances that he did miss.

So now he looks on to the man,
Just like any other adoring fan.
Such feelings he can only hide
And slowly die inside…
==================================================================
Comments = LIFE!

Faerie Baby

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 07:08:08 GMT

Grovel in it's cuteness! ^^;
</cut>

Chapters for second story:

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 16:44:12 GMT